Couples Swept Away Negril

My husband and I just returned from a week long visit to Swept Away. This is a loooong review, but if your like me, you want the full story before you go so I have left nothing out that I think might help you in deciding to stay here. For those of you that just want our rating, my husband graded Swept Away at a strong B (and only gave it that because of the room), while I gave it a B- or C (because of the room and some other annoyances). I have to definately say that Negril is beautiful and we plan to return, but I think that I may see what my options are as far as booking with another chain on the same stretch of beach. My husband says he would book Swept Away all over again for next month if he could. He's very laid back and always relaxed and I must admit, I do get very picky about my hotel stays (and especially spending this much $$$). So many of the things that I list bothered me but he just thought were funny so you decided for yourself if you are picky or laid back about these things. So below is all the details, hope this helps!

Transfers: Nothing really to report. It takes roughly an hour and a half to reach the resort and then they have someone escort you to your room.

Room: This was a concern for both myself and my easygoing, carefree husband. I had thought that booking a slight upgrade from garden suite (the lowest grade room) would alleviate the noise problems from the highway that had been detailed in other reviews and I was soooo wrong. It sounded like we were staying in a highway truckstop to be quite honest. I would recommed booking as close to the beach as you can. Also, we at least lucked out that we were in the middle of the resort, because anyone near the Great House where the dance club is located I am sure never had a good night's sleep during their stay. It was extremely loud, so if you are going to CSA for rest and relaxation, specify that you want to be in a building far away from the dance club. Also, the room was just not what is appeared to be in the pictures, everything was so hard used and DIRTY. I never felt like anything was ever really clean in our room, this place needs a serious overhaul and a good scrub down. TIP: yes, there are ants, but they are attracted to anything sweet so my husband and I kept everything including toothpaste locked up in a ziplock bag and we didn't have a problem until he poured a cocktail down the sink-- when we came back to the room after only an hour, the sink and vanity were covered with ants and once we cleaned up and washed out the sink we never saw them again so just make sure to keep anything that might attract ants stored away and don't leave any drinks or food in your room and you'll be fine. The verandah is very nice for just relaxing while the rain comes down (and it does rain for about an hour every day in the afternoon).

The Beach: The beach is gorgeous! The water is so clear that even all the way out where you can't touch the ground you can see small fish around your feet. THe sand is so soft it feels like velvet! This is the big selling point of the resort. I loved it.
THe Negatives: At first the vendors that roam the beach seemed charming, and I admired them for their enterprise, however, by the end of the trip it was annoying that anytime I accidentally made eye contact with one I had to repeat "no thank you, really no thank you" over and over. It's disruptive to hear someone shouting "CIGARETTES" constantly while you are trying to enjoy the sounds of the ocean. There are also roving musicians which are great until two seperate groups get about 20 feet from eachother and start playing two different songs and it just sounds like cats dying, but the performers and security that roams the beach seem oblivious that the blending of the sounds might not be that appealing. But that wasn't the only noise pollution destroying the scene-- The jetski and parasailing boats zoom up and down the water as CLOSE as they can get to the guests and harrass them. And sure, a "no thanks" gets them off your back for a time, but they continue speeding up and down the water looking for new "victims" that have just entered the water and you get to hear the shouting all over again to those poor people. And I am not the only one who was annoyed, I witnessed two men out near the swim perimeter and their girlfriends/wives left the water because they couldn't take all the noise and you could tell the two men were irritated and making comments to eachother and the man on the parasailing boat was getting testy asking "you ok mon, you don't seem ok, whats the problem". They had stopped the boat basically right next to them and began talking with another vendor on a jetski. Another problem with this "shark circling" that the vendors do is the fumes that their lovely boats and jetskis put out. It is very strong if you are close to the border of the swim area and not to mention its just plain bad for the environment. The resort seems to not notice that this bothers some guests or perhaps the government allows this and CSA can't do anything, but it does impact your level of relaxation.

My husband says he thinks security did an excellent job and as I said before, it may be that the government allows the vendors to be so annoying and CSA is helpless to restrict the activity in the water. And the security guards are really nice, the head guy is super friendly with everyone and is honest about walking off property. Take our advice and walk towards the Beaches resort, but forget the opposite way towards Margaritaville, we made it about two feet before getting pushy vendors in our face and we had to turn around, another couple made about 15 feet- that was the record from what we saw.
The waiters on the beach are great and I really wish you could tip because its got to be miserable hot tromping up and down the beach with a tray full of drinks. These waiters and the ones at Patois were the best! Tip: If you are going to get a frozen blended drink it may be best to get it yourself from the bar because it is so hot that by the time the waiters get your drink to you it's already seperating from the heat. All other drinks are just fine!

Restaurants:
We LOVED Patios! It was good each and everytime we went and the staff is so nice. Try them for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the beginning of your stay so you can decide what you like.

The Palms- Just ok and the service was really bad sometimes. Many times we didn't get our drink order and the staff there seemed pissed the whole time. We tried to be polite and always say thank you and smile and they were just grumpy. I wouldn't recommend them but they do have a buffet, so it might be worth a try for anyone that is a picky eater and needs variety.

Feather- Um, no. Neither my husband or I had one thing at the restaurant we liked.

Lemongrass- Pretty good. It wasn't really Thai food but it was nice all the same and they had good shrimp. Our server was very, very nice, but the hostess was so mean that we were joking about it with about three other couples. Apparently right before we arrived for our reservation, she had been ticked that another couple was six minutes early and told them they had to wait, so the rest of us never even got a nod, or hello from her because I guess it was that couple's job to tell the rest of us we were too early to be seated. She walked by us about three times and ignored us, then when she did seat us my husband asked her how she was and I have never heard anyone say "super" with such venom in their tone. Oh well, we got a good laugh out of her behavior but another couple left because the wait was too long and the behavior too rude.

Seagrapes- AWESOME! I only eat seafood occasionally, but am mostly vegetarian so this place was perfect for me! The cook at the food station is a hoot. and got us anything we wanted.

TIP- You have probably already read this but make your reservations as quickly as possible, we got in very late our first night and the next morning things were booked up until the next week already. Try to get into lemongrass twice if you can!

Catamaran Cruise- We loved it so much we went twice! It's sooo much fun, Wear tons of sunscreen, I had a good base and since the sun was setting I didn't reapply and now my shoulders are so burned. Don't bother with taking anything but your underwater camera, towel and use the bathroom before because you will DRINK on this cruise and I didn't hear good things about the facilities on board. Don't bother with clothes or shoes because you walk out into the ocean to board and your shorts will be soaked and you never use your shoes onboard. The less you have to carry while trying to board in waste deep water the better.

My only complaint about the cruise was about some of the guests. People, if you smoke, fine. I can always move away if it bothers me, but the ocean and the beach are not your own personal ashtray. I saw two people on the catamaran ash and throw cigarette butts into the ocean even though there were ashtrays on board. Same for the beach, people were just putting out their cigs on the beach even though the resort provides ashtrays. This is so selfish and careless that I can't believe people would do it in the midst of such beauty. So, please use an ashtray and puff away! :)


One last tip: Take your own toilet paper. I know it sounds weird, but the airport had better TP than the resort. It falls apart in your hand its so thin. So pack two rolls of charmin ladies and thank me later...
Hope this helps! Have fun.